Kanye West’s ‘Yeezus’: One Listener’s Maniacal Review

Instead of a traditional review of Kanye’s new album, we’ve got in-house comedian Lucas Lu, eccentric listener of albums, to live blog as he listens to the aberrant “Yeezus” for the first time:

0:22 – Sounds good. I’m feeling this beat.

0:58 – Turning album off. I don’t appreciate the violation.

1:25 – Some sort of interlude?

1:41 – Haha Joe Brown.

1:56 – KANYE, ENOUGH ABOUT YOUR WANG ALREADY!

2:40 – New song.

3:20 – Oh god. Funny sample.

4:05 – Sounds like 808s.

4:30 – THE 1950’s CALLED, THEY WANT THEIR SLANG BACK. DOUCHE.

5:40 – Awkward song catchy chorus.

5:45 – New Song

6:25 – WTF is this (…paging me at 5:46 in the morning)?

6:35 – Gross. FAST FORWARD.

(skipped song)

10:09 – I enjoy when Kanye relates personal experiences in his songs.

10:48 – Come on dude I just said I liked this song…now I regret that.

11:37 – Kanye – You can’t be God and a slave at the same time.

12:05 – Nice Hampton thread. Good.

12:34 – Interlude?

13:37 РNote to Self: Remember to skip ahead when the interlude comes on.

14:53 – I wish I didn’t have to listen to the rest of this album.

15:30 – Nice Deepak Chopra reference.

16:10 – SKIPPING AHEAD TO NEXT SONG…

(skipped song)

19:20 – Song starts.

19:30 – Reminds me of Venus vs. Mars.

20:00 – Like this song.

21:20 – Kanye’s priorities after a day at work: 1) Wet mouth. 2) Wet mouth. 3) Wet mouth.

23:15 – Nice rhymes to the last 20 seconds of the last song. First song I liked all the way through.

24:00 – Kanye is attempting to revive the autotune.

24:56 – Once again sounds like 808s.

25:45 – Stupid song, fresh beat.

26:10 – Skipping ahead.

30:30 – Heavy on the autotune.

33:00 – ALMOST skipped ahead but didn’t because of the nice beat.

33:40 – #Beat.

34:19 – Stupid hook, but it’s not Kanye rapping.

35:05 – Funny line about leaving the car parked outside.

35:25 – YEEZUS IS WHAT KANYE NAMED HIS GENITALIA, MYSTERY SOLVED.

36:10 – Mos Def sample. Solid.

36:19 – LAST SONG!

38:19 – … … … Who?

40:08 – It’s over.


Initial thoughts: If you are into music production this would be a potent album to have because Kanye did do solid work making each beat. Other than the musical hand magic, however, I can’t recommend buying the album. There were several times when Kanye violated and made me feel awkward. I couldn’t get through the first song without wanting to viciously chuck large pottery out my NYC windows.


Ratings: (All out of 5, delegated as artist points)

Beats: 5 out of 5 Manny Fresh points for sick beats.

Lyrics: 1/2 a Kendrick Lamar point for idiotic poetry.

Hardcore: 1/2 a Zombie point for (lack of) mosh-ability.

Street Value: 1 A$AP Rocky point for “gangsterness.”

Flashiness: 4 Jay-Z points for popness and swag.

*Percentage of album listened to before turning off for first time = 2.5%.

Overall: Only 2 Nas points for “not even close to legendary.”

Conclusion: Better luck next time Kanye. Now we’ll allow Semisonic to finish off this review properly…

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