2013 NFL Training Camp: Catching a Case of Gang Green
Eerie times in Gang Green households. It’s going to be another long, draining season for Jets fans this year. But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the reliable mediocrity. Maybe dinner and a show is ultimately better than a winning ballclub; as Rex’s foot-based shenanigans and Antonio Cromartie’s inability to remember even his own kids’ names dominate newspaper backpages.
On that note, let’s recap a breathtaking 2012 season.
That about covers it.
With another hopeless season approaching, all a Jets fan can do is marinate in the circus-like hilariousness of the current club. It’s already impossible to forget the glorious Butt Fumble, so let’s just embrace the ongoing nonsense surrounding Gang Grizzle.
While we prepare for the rapture to come, this photo of an optimistic Jets fan crumbling before our eyes (below) motivates us to keep trucking along, despite endlessly shitty outings and typical failures.
It’s a glorious shot of the J-E-T-S struggle, better known as the hard knock life or athletic heartbreak. Will things turn around? According to Pro Football Talk, they have a fair chance to perform better than expected. Of course, six wins would eclipse expectations.
John Idzik has made some quality moves minus Mike Goodson’s arrest, picking up Chris Ivory for a fourth rounder, veteran guard Willie Colon in free agency, and a few fans off social media curiosity. The rest is up to sexy Rexy, the coach who recently ran with bulls (?) and even believes he’s “a hell of a lot better football coach than I’m given credit for.” Time for the snack artist to earn his whole wheat cracker and shock the world with a dominating 2013 performance. Only then will the crowd be entertained!
It’s gotten to a point where we simply can’t spell anymore. The sight is so vicious, so excruciating to watch. Butt fumbles, lazy interceptions, petrified pocket dances, hot dogs on the bench. Enough.
First off Sanchez, make it Italian sausage not an undercooked wiener. Second, let’s tone it down with the Brick Tamland pants parties; time to focus on Geno and gripping the pigskin. Here’s some motivation to get started…
Here’s your chance…
It’s a make or break year for the ambiguously bad Ryan-Sanchez duo, though we’ll hold our breaths as we await a torrential downpour of picks and New York sobs. Hopefully either Sanchez’s ponytail or Geno’s right arm can pull a fluttering franchise out of the NFL basement.
- New York Jets Training Camp: Two Weeks to Go! (thejetpress.com)
- Behind Enemy Lines: New York Jets (musiccitymiracles.com)
- Mike Goodson Expected to Practice with New York Jets Next Week (nyjets101.com)
- Cromartie: A Changed Man (thasportsjunkies101.wordpress.com)
- Antonio Cromartie Drives A Prius, Is Financially Disciplined (deadspin.com)