Home Run Derby 2013: Yoenis Cespedes and Bryce Harper Slaughter Baseballs, Fans Get Awesomely Weird

Image via ftw.usatoday.com

Last night’s majestic home run derby featured exactly what baseball diehards anticipated, talented youths in revolt. First, though, we were surrounded with some elderly MLB gentleman simply reminding crowds of their “we’re-still-here” presence.

As with each passing season, the homerun derby consistently keeps fans entertained and sluggers reinventing their flawless swings. However, this year saw an infusion of youth that we’ve yet to see in some time, with the baby crop unsurprisingly dominating the stage. For innocent baseballs everywhere, avoiding Bryce Harper and Yoenis Cespedes (left, image via ftw.usatoday.com/) remains top priority.

First we had 30-year-old sweet-swinging Pinstripe Robinson Cano preparing for the derby with some virtual derbying…

Then we had some old guys (minus 27-year-old ball masher Chris Davis) warming some pine, marinating in their awesomeness…

Once the four-bag derby began, pure mayhem ensued. First, loud and belligerently animated announcers kept us working to understand what exactly was happening as you’ll hear, see, and struggle with below…

Then, fearless fans made us question our decision to watch the all-star festivities from the couch, when we live a mere 40 minutes from Citi Field, and they are busy making on-camera masterpieces…

On the other hand, watching Cano’s kid get whacked in the head by Bartolo Colon made us grateful we weren’t there.

Then came the young studs, Bryce Harper and Yoenis Cespedes. Two powerful swings with zero hesitation. However, watching 20-year-old mullet Bryce Harper murder countless baseballs paled in comparison to watching this fan drop a homerun and then proceed to melt down…

All while Bryce’s father was attempting to toss a no-hitter…

But then came 27-year-old masher of baseballs Yoenis Cespedes, Oakland’s pride and joy, slugging away from the start.

Former Met farmhand Carlos Gomez was quite impressed, though barely surprised…

For us, a violent bat flip was all it took to steal our hearts…

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Pretty, ferocious, echoing. Cespedes’ swing was simply flawless, his power inhumane. Even Big Papi, a.k.a. David Ortiz, was impressed…

And Harper petrified…

In the end, the talented Athletic would pull of a magical upset with 32 longballs (view full results here) in front of thousands upon thousands of inspired fans who haven’t seen performances like this since the late ’80s (correction, the stone age). As if the excitement in Flushing wasn’t oozing already, this Mets fan’s homerun-catching reaction should seal the deal.

 

 

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