NFL 2013: Roger Goodell Strikes Again, Banning Custom Face Masks

Darnell Dockett Mask

Roger Goodell must be stopped. The man is a power hungry despot, utterly determined to methodically destroy every single thing we love about the National Football League.

In between planning the future of the National Flag Football League and giving himself motivational speeches in the bathroom, Goodell’s newest absurd idea has been to banish the custom face mask from the NFL, unless you have medical clearance. This means that guys like Darnell Dockett (above), and Robert Mathis will be forced to wear default head gear in lieu of their fearsome customized grills. The Giants fan in me is happy to see that Justin Tuck (below), can keep his mask thanks to medical circumstances, but this whole thing just reeks of Goodell throwing his weight around just because he can.

Justin Tuck FaceMask

The real question is, WHY? What about these masks is a problem? It allows players to look distinct out there. Did the masks offend Goodell’s puritan sensibilities? Does he feel bad about himself because he sucked so much at football that he couldn’t even play in college, let alone the NFL, and therefore the players can’t have cool things? Why does he even care about the helmets? If Goodell has his way, there won’t be helmets at all in three years, because there won’t be any tackling.

In a world populated by David Stern and Bud Selig, it is really hard to maintain a grip on the title of CED (Cheif Executive Douchebag) of American Sports, but somehow Goodell has done so and doesn’t look to be letting up anytime soon.

Next, he’ll probably ban cleats because the spikes hurt the grass, which he’ll say is “bad press for the league”.

Honestly, the best thing that could possibly happen to football would be Roger Goodell getting deported to a desert island for the rest of his life. Then again, that doesn’t happen when you’re the emperor of the NFL. Next he’ll try to make a rule that we can’t blog about the NRGFL (National Roger Goodell Football League).


Courtesy of Sports Illustrated.

Courtesy of Sports Illustrated.