This Dubbed Remix of Evgeni Plushenko Figure Skating to Ginuwine’s “Pony” is Pure Olympic Gold

Jockstrap fashion critic-turned-critical fashionista Alexis H, a.k.a. A-town Down, spits her emotional reaction to Evgeni’s 2001 performance after it was remixed with Ginuwine’s “Pony,” which you can find below. But speaking of Elgin Baylor Lumpkin, a.k.a. Romeo (Juwanna remember), does this dude own a shirt?

It appears not. But let’s move on to the main event and our lovely new figure skating fan’s fiery reaction.

Before this life changing video graced my computer screen I had serious figure skating doubts. To be honest, I can only watch so many 110-pound men prance around on ice in tights until I am uncomfortable with my own sexuality. I must admit it was the dubbed music choice of Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ that sold me. As the dubbed classic came on, his red jacket sparkling, blonde hair blowing in the wind, Evgeni whipped out that flower to the random semi-attractive stranger in the audience. We’d struck gold.  His jacket is off within the first minute, jackpot. Too bad his arms and chest look completely ridiculous. It’s unclear whether he had an allergic reaction to that gold vest or if his stylist team is trying to sabotage him. Either way, his Elvis Presley moves are totally working their magic on me.

Then boom, not even three minutes in and his pants are off too?! My confusion and concern is uncontrollable but my eyes cannot look away. I begin to wonder what they used to fill that gold underwear with, maybe the same material as his fake six-pack, maybe its just filled with hopes and dreams for the gold. Next move, force Putin to watch this.

If Evgeni doesn’t put the supposed ‘lack of homosexuality in Russian male figure skaters’ controversy to rest in this routine then I don’t know what will?  The only regret I have is knowing that this was only for the exhibitions and not for the real thing. As imagined it ends with a bang, literally and figuratively, check it out for yourself, its the perfect afternoon pick me up.

Enjoy.

Here’s the original, via Tom Jones’ “Sex Bomb”

Advertisements