Watch Last Night’s Dunk Contest Ruin Everything

Still wondering when the real dunk contest is happenin? Well, time to grab some knee braces, goggles, fat afros and head over to the Rucka for some tea and crumpets with the world’s worst dunker, seriously the worst, because that shit already happened in mediocre style. As if the mid-season dunk contest wasn’t already growing moss six feet under, newly appointed commissioner Adam Silver and his crew allowed pure misery last night.

This is what we envisioned days ahead of time…


This is what we got…

A star-studded lineup wasted, while thousands of fans were left missing Vince Carter more than ever. I remember a time when high socks, puffy haircuts, and short shorts brewed success and popularity. Now, the league’s got steroid-stuffed mascots holding balls while athletic-yet-overrated ballers put on plastic crowns, barely put the ball in the basket, and then krump like there’s no tomorrow.

But amidst the twitter rampage of disapproval were two fellow Washingtonians supporting their bro…

And two birds


Next time, let’s keep it to nerdy yankoviches at Rucker Park, thanks.